You have clearance, Clarence: Notes from Flight 186

1. This preppy douchebag in front of me in the security line tried to go through security wearing his Tommy Hilfiger sweater draped over his shoulders until the heavy-set security woman told him to remove it and put it through the x-ray.

2. A beefy Asian guy with a muscle T-shirt as reading the latest issue of Inside TV in the Hudson News store.

3. Tucker Carlson is on my flight. No bowtie. Same meaningless drivle. Do you think his hot air will help keep the plane up?

Godspeed MJ. Keep it veal, P.