why india is so great #2

smells like veal?

a cool mashup of nirvana and destiny's child from mashuptown.com: "smells like booty".

why india is so great #1

but does it make amy grant not sound like crap?

As highlighted on the "Cult of Mac" Blog on Wired.com, the new iBelieve is sure to be at the top of my Channukah shopping list.

You have clearance, Clarence: Notes from Flight 186

1. This preppy douchebag in front of me in the security line tried to go through security wearing his Tommy Hilfiger sweater draped over his shoulders until the heavy-set security woman told him to remove it and put it through the x-ray.

2. A beefy Asian guy with a muscle T-shirt as reading the latest issue of Inside TV in the Hudson News store.

3. Tucker Carlson is on my flight. No bowtie. Same meaningless drivle. Do you think his hot air will help keep the plane up?

Godspeed MJ. Keep it veal, P.

What's Next, Sodomy Elmo?

From outside the Grauman's Theater in Hollywood.

Greatest American Dickhead

go dores!

Like MJ Garrett, I went to Vanderbilt University and graduated in May of 2003. Like my fellow Commodores, I was excited to see someone from my alma mater on television. Like anyone who has been to Nashville, I was confused when our dear MJ referred to Nashville as a "small town," talked about his inexperience with African Americans even after having spent 4 years on the football team at Vanderbilt, and voiced his blatant discriminations against nonblondes (actually i'm grateful for this).

But what really convinced me of his ridiculousness was his website. It screams DOUCHEBAG. Who approved those pictures? Who is going to buy MJ "merchandise"? If only I could plan my bar stops over the next few months and declare them on the world wide web as "appearances." And he's blogging his the start of his soon-to-be long and drawn out MTV Career (watch out, Eric Nies!)? Donald Trump is looking that much cooler.

Perhaps I should "book" him. We could sit around at some lame bar and I could tell him what a big a joke he is.

See? I care.

IM thinking this is worth sharing

and fuck you if you think its not

[16:41] doglover69: did i tell you my story from saturday yet?
[16:41] doglover69: it's fantastic
[16:43] doglover69: i'm standing in this overly snobby bar/lounge on saturday night
[16:43] doglover69: i see this blonde girl come up the stairs and stand next to me
[16:44] doglover69: so she is clearly looking at me so i decide i might as well talk to her
[16:44] doglover69: so she pulls out her cell phone to send a text message and i say, "so, i see you own a cell phone"
[16:44] doglover69: she says, yeah. i said, "me too."
[16:45] doglover69: she seemed amused. so then i said, i'm brian. and she says, I'm Jenna.
[16:45] doglover69: then she says, hold on i'm grabbing a drink
[16:45] doglover69: and i look at her and i realize, it's jenna bush
[16:45] MJ: get the fuck out
[16:45] doglover69: no
[16:45] MJ: was she doing lines?
[16:45] doglover69: does she do lines
[16:46] MJ: i don't know
[16:46] doglover69: well she's getting a drink now, so i tell this idiot that i'm with who she is
[16:46] doglover69: he walks up and asks her her last name
[16:46] doglover69: so she says, bush.
[16:47] doglover69: now my plan was to pretend i had no idea who she was
[16:47] doglover69: but now my cover is blown
[16:47] doglover69: so i basically bailed out
[16:47] doglover69: i blew it
[16:48] MJ: i feel like chelsea's more your speed anyway
[16:48] doglover69: nah, i can't get chelsea, but i could get jenna. here's why: girls like men like their fathers. i'm an alcoholic whose life is going nowhere right now.
[16:49] doglover69: anyways, she's a very big girl
[16:50] MJ: like her grandmother
[16:50] doglover69: tall and brick-like
[16:50] doglover69: not hot